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Be honest. Remove the romance script.
You have a person who ticks every practical box: financially stable, respectful, stable family, marriage-minded. They will not embarrass you. They will provide. You will be comfortable.
But the spark is not...
We worship the destination and mock the road.
Tell Nigerians you are struggling to build something β they pity you or give unsolicited advice. Tell them you succeeded β they love you, celebrate you, want to be associated with you.
But no one cl...
I was with Kunle for three years. Three years of Sundays at his mother's house, of splitting suya on third mainland bridge, of believing I had found the one.
I found out on a Tuesday. His phone buzzed while he was in the shower and I glanced at it...
The month I quit, three people in my family stopped speaking to me. My father called it irresponsibility. My older sister said I was wasting a "good position." A colleague told me I would be back in six months with my tail between my legs.
I had b...
Only one. That is the constraint. Not a list. Not a speech. One clear, direct sentence or idea that would have changed the trajectory of things.
I am asking because I think the answers reveal what we actually value β not what we say we value, but wh...
Not the kind that comes from having everything figured out, but the kind that comes from knowing I am becoming who Iβm meant to be. Itβs the ability to sleep at night without regret eating at my heart. Itβs waking up with purpose instead of pressure....
Not a secret about cheating. I mean other secrets.
Like not telling your partner about an old debt you're managing. Or about a health scare you don't want them to worry about. Or about how you really feel about their family. Or about a mistake you...
I was 29 when a therapist asked me: "What do you enjoy? Not what are you good at β what do you enjoy?"
I could not answer. I sat there for what felt like a very long time. I could list my achievements. I could list my responsibilities. I could lis...
I will not pretend it didn't sting.
Chisom and I have been friends since JSS2. She was there the night Emeka broke my heart in 2019. She held me while I sobbed in her bathroom. She called him terrible things on my behalf.
When she told me they ...
Every writer I admire has a story about the moment their writing found itself. Became distinctly theirs.
Sometimes it is a line they wrote. Sometimes it is a sentence they read that showed them what was possible.
For me it was reading this in a Chi...
The average Nigerian wedding in 2025 costs between β¦3 million and β¦15 million. Families go into debt. Couples borrow money they spend years repaying. The one-day event becomes a financial anchor on a marriage before it even begins.
And when you su...
ποΈ2.8K
π Learn MyPloxora
Master Every Platform Feature
10+ step-by-step guides to help you succeed as a creator!
Every Sunday call, she would ask. Every visit, there would be hints about "settling down." Every family gathering, aunties with their knowing looks.
So I made one up.
His name was Dayo. He worked in banking. He was "very serious" but "we were t...
Serious question. Hear me out.
The average Nigerian graduate earns β¦80,000ββ¦150,000/month in a formal job. Rent in Lagos alone can eat 50-70% of that. NEPA, transport, food, data β by the 15th you are calculating.
Meanwhile I see people running...
Every Christmas I go home in a rented car. I wear clothes I bought on Jumia but describe them differently. I talk about "the office" and "my team" in ways that are technically true but deeply misleading.
My mother is proud of me. She tells everyon...
ποΈ2.5K
π This Week's Challenge
The Moment I Almost Gave Up β And The Decision That Changed the Direction of My Life Forever
"Describe the moment in your life when you felt closest to giving up, and explain..."
Genuinely want a debate on this.
On one hand: access to information has never been greater. A person in a rural area in Nigeria with a smartphone has access to the same knowledge as someone at Oxford. That is extraordinary.
On the other hand: we se...
Let him cheat.
Let him flirt.
Let him walk away.
Let him throw away everything you built together.
You cannot compete with a man who already decided you are optional.
Stop exhausting yourself trying to prove your worth to someone who calculated ...
There is a very thin line between patience and settling. Between "loving someone despite their flaws" and "ignoring red flags because leaving feels harder than staying."
At what exact moment did it click for you that you were settling? Was it a sing...
There was a time when I noticed a problem developing β whether in a team project or a personal situation β but I chose to stay quiet to avoid conflict. Eventually, the issue grew bigger and could have been resolved much earlier if I had voiced my tho...
Year one: I sold phone accessories from my room in Surulere. My "office" was a WhatsApp status update and a Jiji listing. Profit: β¦340,000. I reinvested all of it.
Year two: I rented a shared space in a tech mall, hired one assistant, moved to Ins...
I just want to know if couples can stay honest and truthful to each other without any form of pretense
Common Causes of Work Stress
Excessive workload and tight deadlines
Lack of control over work decisions
Unclear job expectations
Job insecur...
Everyone thinks I have the perfect life. I landed my dream job at a top company, I travel the world, and my social media looks amazing.
But the truth is, I'm miserable. I hate the pressure, the constant performance reviews, the fake smiles. I feel l...
ποΈ915
π This Week's Challenge
The Moment I Almost Gave Up β And The Decision That Changed the Direction of My Life Forever
"Describe the moment in your life when you felt closest to giving up, and explain..."
He is a good man. Kind, patient, consistent. He genuinely loves me and I know it because I have seen what love that is not genuine looks like.
But I do not feel it back. Not the way he deserves. I care for him deeply. I enjoy his company. But when...
Joint account people: it's a marriage, not a business partnership. Keeping separate money creates a hidden exit door and undermines the full commitment.
Separate account people: financial independence within marriage is not a lack of trust β it is...
Scenario: Your partner has been unemployed for eighteen months. Not lazy β actively looking, doing freelance bits, dealing with a market that's genuinely brutal. You have been carrying the bills.
At what point does support become enabling? At what...
Three months into therapy I had a week so good I thought I was done. Genuinely done. The heavy thing I had been carrying felt lighter. I was sleeping. I was present. I thought: I fixed it.
Two weeks later I fell apart in a supermarket because they...
He died in November. I flew home. I did everything that needed to be done β arrangements, family coordination, receiving visitors, catering, the church service.
At the burial I smiled and accepted condolences and said the right things and held my ...
The things we learn by living them are different from the things we learn by reading them.
I am not looking for quotes or theories. I want the thing you had to break down to understand. The thing that cost you sleep, relationships, or years before y...
My mother cried when I ended that engagement. Not because she thought he was a good man β she had always been quiet about him, which was her way of screaming. She cried because she was afraid for me. Thirty-one and unmarried in Nigeria is its own kin...
ποΈ2K
π This Week's Challenge
The Moment I Almost Gave Up β And The Decision That Changed the Direction of My Life Forever
"Describe the moment in your life when you felt closest to giving up, and explain..."
I was at the Third Mainland Bridge at 2am. I will not say why. If you have ever stood somewhere quiet and felt the world would continue without noticing your absence, you may understand.
A security guard appeared. He was supposed to tell me to move ...
Ambition is celebrated publicly. The grind. The hustle. The success story. People love the destination narrative.
What I almost never hear about is the hidden invoice.
The relationships you sacrificed. The health you ignored. The rest you postponed...
Genuine question. I want numbers and reasoning, not just vibes.
Imagine your current job pays well but makes you miserable. Sunday evenings feel like a slow dread. You live for weekends. You have forgotten why you chose this career.
Now imagine an ...
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π Learn MyPloxora
Master Every Platform Feature
10+ step-by-step guides to help you succeed as a creator!
While growing up, we were told that when you lose a tooth, you should throw it on the roof of the house so that a stronger and better tooth will grow.
But thinking about it nowβ¦ that tradition is funny sha π
What about the people whose teeth di...
I have a very convincing story about why I am fine alone. I do not need people. I am self-sufficient. I process internally. I am introverted and that is valid.
All of that is true. And all of it has also been armor.
The honest version: I am afr...
It was a regular Tuesday morning when I received the call that would change my life forever. I was sitting at my desk, sipping coffee, scrolling through emails, when my phone rang...
This is a story about transformation, courage, and finding your tr...
Everyone told me I would regret it. That blood is blood. That family, no matter how imperfect, is irreplaceable.
I cut off six people in one year: my father, two aunties, a brother, and two cousins. Not dramatically. No confrontation. I just quiet...