Everyone told me I would regret it. That blood is blood. That family, no matter how imperfect, is irreplaceable.
I cut off six people in one year: my father, two aunties, a brother, and two cousins. Not dramatically. No confrontation. I just quietly stopped picking up. Stopped showing up. Let the distance grow until it became permanent.
That was three years ago.
The worst part — the part I cannot say out loud to anyone in my life — is that I feel better. Not guilty-better or relief-mixed-with-grief-better. Just genuinely, measurably better. Lighter. Calmer. More myself.
I do not miss them. I miss the idea of family. But not those specific people.
I don't know what this says about me. Maybe I am cold. Maybe I simply recognized that proximity to certain people was making me smaller and less safe.
I still believe family matters. I just don't believe biology is a sufficient reason to tolerate harm.
I cut off six people in one year: my father, two aunties, a brother, and two cousins. Not dramatically. No confrontation. I just quietly stopped picking up. Stopped showing up. Let the distance grow until it became permanent.
That was three years ago.
The worst part — the part I cannot say out loud to anyone in my life — is that I feel better. Not guilty-better or relief-mixed-with-grief-better. Just genuinely, measurably better. Lighter. Calmer. More myself.
I do not miss them. I miss the idea of family. But not those specific people.
I don't know what this says about me. Maybe I am cold. Maybe I simply recognized that proximity to certain people was making me smaller and less safe.
I still believe family matters. I just don't believe biology is a sufficient reason to tolerate harm.
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