Confessions

I did not choose this. I want to be very clear about that. It started two years ago. Just an awareness. He said something kind to me during a hard period and something shifted. I tried to unshift it. I cannot. I have not acted on it. I will not...

He died in November. I flew home. I did everything that needed to be done — arrangements, family coordination, receiving visitors, catering, the church service. At the burial I smiled and accepted condolences and said the right things and held my ...

Every Christmas I go home in a rented car. I wear clothes I bought on Jumia but describe them differently. I talk about "the office" and "my team" in ways that are technically true but deeply misleading. My mother is proud of me. She tells everyon...

Everyone told me I would regret it. That blood is blood. That family, no matter how imperfect, is irreplaceable. I cut off six people in one year: my father, two aunties, a brother, and two cousins. Not dramatically. No confrontation. I just quiet...

No affairs. No secret conversations. Nothing suspicious — just normal boring messages from normal boring people. I put the phone down and I felt two things simultaneously: relief and absolute shame. I went through their phone because of a feeli...

Every Sunday call, she would ask. Every visit, there would be hints about "settling down." Every family gathering, aunties with their knowing looks. So I made one up. His name was Dayo. He worked in banking. He was "very serious" but "we were t...

The office photos were a co-working space I paid ₦5,000 per day for. The "team meeting" picture had three friends I bribed with suya. The revenue screenshots were edited in Canva. I was broke. The business had stalled. But on Instagram I was thriv...

He is a good man. Kind, patient, consistent. He genuinely loves me and I know it because I have seen what love that is not genuine looks like. But I do not feel it back. Not the way he deserves. I care for him deeply. I enjoy his company. But when...

I have a very convincing story about why I am fine alone. I do not need people. I am self-sufficient. I process internally. I am introverted and that is valid. All of that is true. And all of it has also been armor. The honest version: I am afr...

She is my friend. Has been for twelve years. I love her. But her husband is a man I despised, and watching her marry him felt like watching something happen that I could not stop and should not have had to witness. So I called two days before t...

Three months ago I finished a report that took me two weeks. My line manager was on leave. I handed it to a senior colleague to pass along. He presented it as a collaborative effort — "we worked on this together" — in front of the MD. The MD prais...

On Sundays I am in the front row. I lead the prayer team. People call me a spiritual role model. Monday through Saturday I am a completely different person. Drinking, lying, sleeping with someone I know I should not be sleeping with. Making decisi...

Everyone thinks I have the perfect life. I landed my dream job at a top company, I travel the world, and my social media looks amazing. But the truth is, I'm miserable. I hate the pressure, the constant performance reviews, the fake smiles. I feel l...