Confessions

Dear Nigeria, Your young people are tired of waiting. We are tired of being told that our time will come when we have spent years watching opportunities pass us by. We are tired of hearing, “Be patient,” when patience has become the language of...

I did not choose this. I want to be very clear about that. It started two years ago. Just an awareness. He said something kind to me during a hard period and something shifted. I tried to unshift it. I cannot. I have not acted on it. I will not...

He died in November. I flew home. I did everything that needed to be done — arrangements, family coordination, receiving visitors, catering, the church service. At the burial I smiled and accepted condolences and said the right things and held my ...

Every Christmas I go home in a rented car. I wear clothes I bought on Jumia but describe them differently. I talk about "the office" and "my team" in ways that are technically true but deeply misleading. My mother is proud of me. She tells everyon...

Everyone told me I would regret it. That blood is blood. That family, no matter how imperfect, is irreplaceable. I cut off six people in one year: my father, two aunties, a brother, and two cousins. Not dramatically. No confrontation. I just quiet...

No affairs. No secret conversations. Nothing suspicious — just normal boring messages from normal boring people. I put the phone down and I felt two things simultaneously: relief and absolute shame. I went through their phone because of a feeli...

Every Sunday call, she would ask. Every visit, there would be hints about "settling down." Every family gathering, aunties with their knowing looks. So I made one up. His name was Dayo. He worked in banking. He was "very serious" but "we were t...

The office photos were a co-working space I paid ₦5,000 per day for. The "team meeting" picture had three friends I bribed with suya. The revenue screenshots were edited in Canva. I was broke. The business had stalled. But on Instagram I was thriv...

He is a good man. Kind, patient, consistent. He genuinely loves me and I know it because I have seen what love that is not genuine looks like. But I do not feel it back. Not the way he deserves. I care for him deeply. I enjoy his company. But when...

I have a very convincing story about why I am fine alone. I do not need people. I am self-sufficient. I process internally. I am introverted and that is valid. All of that is true. And all of it has also been armor. The honest version: I am afr...

She is my friend. Has been for twelve years. I love her. But her husband is a man I despised, and watching her marry him felt like watching something happen that I could not stop and should not have had to witness. So I called two days before t...

Three months ago I finished a report that took me two weeks. My line manager was on leave. I handed it to a senior colleague to pass along. He presented it as a collaborative effort — "we worked on this together" — in front of the MD. The MD prais...

On Sundays I am in the front row. I lead the prayer team. People call me a spiritual role model. Monday through Saturday I am a completely different person. Drinking, lying, sleeping with someone I know I should not be sleeping with. Making decisi...

Everyone thinks I have the perfect life. I landed my dream job at a top company, I travel the world, and my social media looks amazing. But the truth is, I'm miserable. I hate the pressure, the constant performance reviews, the fake smiles. I feel l...